it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
