But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
