Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
