I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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