so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
