Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
