Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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