Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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