This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
