I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
