What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Randomize
