she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
