I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
