You work out of a Hotel?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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