A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
