When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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