I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Randomize
