I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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