She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
