Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
