after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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