Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
