he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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