I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
