I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
