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I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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