I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Buhtt sex?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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