We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
