He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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