i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
My vagina just recognized that song.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
