Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.

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(305): View more from Florida

i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot

(1-305): View more from Florida

lets call myth busters

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(519): View more from Ontario

I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots

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(513): View more from Ohio

I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....

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(240): View more from Maryland

This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.

(1-240): View more from Maryland

You've ruined popcorn for me.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend

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(312): View more from Illinois

Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.

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(815): View more from Illinois

Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?

(779): View more from Illinois

I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.

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