Do you still have your period?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
