so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
this boner is exhausting
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
