last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
