he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
