dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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