And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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