I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
