Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
