I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
tonight lets celebrate not being married
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
