I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Randomize
