what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
