Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
