what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
