honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Randomize
