I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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