I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
