he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
People in love make me want to vomit
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
