I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
