Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
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